Finally, We Meet!

Meeting Day......101

Today was our big day. Up at 9, showered, dressed, ate a banana, and we were off to meet Jasmina to go see Milos. By the way, they pronouce it "MEE  loesh".   Jasmina hailed a cab and we drove to the Ministry Offices, where we met our official translator, Jasna. Through the metal detector, our belongings xrayed by a machine that was not being watched by anyone that we could see. I'm sure it someone was watching it somewhere!

Then everyone checks in with security where we had to hand over our passports to the officials to hold for us. Maybe to make sure we actually leave?

Up a couple of flights of stairs and into an office for our meeting. There were 9 people, plus Jim and I, around a small table. I've never seen so many social workers in one place! At this meeting they shared what is known obout Milos, his social history and medicals. He spent a few years in a mental institution where there are no records that followed him, so much of what we know is sketchy. This is just like our other children who joined our family through adoption! They reviewed his developmental history, as best as they knew. He does not speak, he is not yet toilet trained, but will sit on the potty. He tends to throw toys rather than play with them. He is calm, a good boy, not a behavior problem. He has been going to school. He can feed himself, which is new since arriving at the orphanage. He follows one part directions and can accurately distinguish and follow through on "go sit on the bed" vs "Go sit on the chair".  If another child is called and does not come, Milos takes that child by the hand and leads them to the nurse calling.  Then, what they know about him medically, which is basically he gets some colds, and has "skin conditions" frequently.

The social workers had a chance to ask us questions, and they did ask a few things...mostly about what services are available for Milos in our community, schools that Matt and Joey attend, and things like that.

After reviewing all of this, they asked us if we were still interested in adopting Milos. Yes, of course we are! 

We wrapped up the meeting and went to the orphanage to actually meet Milos, while social workers and psychologists watch and evaluate our interactions with him.  We arrived at the orphanage about 12:30, which cooresponds with nap time! Milos normally has been going to a special preschool, but in anticipation of our visit, they held him back at the orphanage today. So, he did not get to go to school as usual, then, he was kep awake from his normal nap time, brought to a small (about 9X9 foot) room where there was a table, a couple of plants, a window, 5 chairs, and at least 6-7 adults...some had to crowd around the doorway looking in as we all couldn't fit!  

Milos performed as one would expect under those situtations. He did not want to be the center of all of this attention. He had a difficult time, but through it all we saw some VERY positive things . First of all, he does want our attention. When acting out, a firm "NE" (NO!) and a plop down on a chair for a short time resulted in immediately rectifying that behavior. There were some things that we picked up physically that  we have some concerns about, but they will be addressed when we get home with him. All in all, it was a rough start, but a smooth ending, and we are vey encouraged by many things we saw. He is not autistic...he wants to make eye contact, he wants to trust, he wants to be around people. He is bright and was learning immediately with us...we played an "empty out the backpack" game...one thing at a time, place it on the table, get more. He responded well to this, anticipating our "more" command, and gave great eye contact during this game. He did many things to see what our reaction would be...if we ignored him completely, he seemed puzzled and would see if he could engage us, either with repeating that undesired behavior, or trying another. This tells us he really wants attention. He loved to be held while walking (I could have used a sling for him!) and was just melting into my shoulder by the end of our visit. He was soooo tired, missing his nap.

At the end of our time, the regular caretaker held her hands out to him, but he turned from her and clung to me. We turned him over to her, and he went into his room, greeted by the other children's gleeful "Milos! Milos"  cries. He seemed happy and at ease with them. We looked at him through the window and I blew him a kiss. He returned the gesture!  The adults had never seen him do that before.

He is a bright little boy, definately "in there" wanting to come out, but with a very, very poor start in life. I have some real concerns about some health issues that I've asked about. Jasmina is checking the records, but probably these questions will be answered when we return home with him.

We left the orphange about 3:30ish...having not eaten much breakfast (A banana) and no lunch, we were hungry. Jasmina prefers that we use taxis as our means of transportation, but, we are used to taking public transportation in large, European cities, so we decided to give it a try. The worse that could happen is  we have to get off and get a taxi back to our apartment.  Many people here do speak English, so getting information is actually quite easy. The first person we asked was able to tell us where to get the tram tickets, we purchased, hopped on the tram, and a few minutes later, hopped off 2 blocks from our apartment! Nothing to it. It felt very safe, it was very easy, and if I can spend 60cents on a bus ride vs. 5.00+ for a cab ride each way...I'll  take the cheap route. We get to meet people this way, get to see the city a little, and frankly, I feel MUCH safer in a tram/trolley than in a car here! I would prefer to bring Milos out on a tram, rather than a taxi.

We came back to our apartment, dropped off the backpack, and went out in search of food. 3-4 blocks up from us is the large, city center, pedestrian only zone.  We figured we could find food there, right??? We walked the entire length and found 3 restaurants...mostly bars with some food. One smelled funny....not sure why. We left that area and decided to stop at the little market and get somethingto fix at home. We stopped at the butcher shop and Jim ordered ham and cheese. We like ham and cheese. However, all day long with no food left Jim confused when transating KG to LBS and he  ordered 2 KG of ham....that is 4 1/2 lbs!  We did stop them before they got that far, but we do have a LOT of ham. Then, stopped at the mini mart and got some bread and jam, and home to a yummy dinner of ham sandwiches.

A load of landry, a bath, and an early night for our regular visit tomorrow.

We get to visit every day from about 9:30 to about 11:30 and then 2:30 to 5pm. I hope we get to be with him for some feedings, bathing, etc.. so we can see what he is used to.

Until tomorrow.

Mary